Watching (The Sensing Lust Series)

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On my feet are the slippers they offered to me as I stepped in from the rain; in my hand a cup of their very good tea. His wife nods in agreement. This interview is in the final episode of BANG!

The entire reason for making the podcast was to normalise conversations about sex and sexuality, but the project came from a place of curiosity rather than expertise. Early on, there was a whole lot of faking calm in the face of shocking or embarrassing situations but surprisingly soon I got to the point where nothing really phased me. It was a baptism of fire. In episode 2 I sat at the front of a high school sex ed class and quizzed a bunch of 17 year olds about sex, sexuality and education.

As word about the podcast spread, all kinds of people started to open up to me about incredibly private things. There were adult virgins who had thought they were the only one, and a father who shared episodes about consent with his teenage daughter, as a way of starting conversations between them about her sexual assault. Of course there was push back from those listeners who consider sex a private matter. I can understand where they are coming from. But the thing is, these conversations are not happening privately.


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Of all the feedback BANG! When New Zealanders young and old feel like they are in control of their own bodies, like they are not alone or abnormal, like it is ok to communicate what they want and that they have a right to pleasure and respect in every interaction - then I will be happily out of a job.

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The scientific reasons you can 'sense' when someone is watching you

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